Saw this facebook group today: Respect to All mums out there. 'Heaven lies at the feet of your mother'
Thought it was fucking ridiculous, I love my mum, but I certainly don't agree with a lot of what she says. What ever though, I might be completely wrong. 1262 people couldn't be wrong....right?
So, I have a phone interview tomorrow, I'm fairly prepared for it, it's supposed to be extremely short. I'm looking forward to it in a weird way. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out. I have to ring him, which is certainly different. But we shall see how it goes.
I feel like I'm going to be sick. It isn't because of the interview. I felt like this before too. It's a horrible feeling, mainly because I can't help it. I guess it's strange how someone can dictate how you feel without really knowing what their doing. I don't want to be alive, but I'm not suicidal. I just don't see the point. Well there's a few reasons, for some reason people seem to like me, I think they'd be upset if I suddenly wasn't here. I don't want to cause anyone else any grief.
Strange, I think one thing could change my entire outlook on everything. But I think it's asking too much. I guess I'll never know until I follow through. I don't see much point in doing so. Is there any point of asking a question you know the answer to? No....no I guess not.
I think I'll be happy when it's all said and done. Instead I have to go through this fucking humdrum, this thing, this life. fucks sake. It shouldn't be this taxing.
I can't help feeling like this, it's just how I am. I do wonder if people had treated me different while I was younger would I be a completely different person. I guess it's easier to blame other people on our own problems or insecurities, it's essentially mitigating blame and it means we don't have to look at ourselves and look at our faults. I don't blame anyone. I am who I am and I always have the choice of changing myself.
I don't really like a lot of people, the people I do like I try to keep in contact with. There's a lot of people I don't like. I think I'm just bitter, it's strange that I can dislike people for next to no reason. I like to think I'm not ignorant, but I guess I really am. How can I dislike a person based on a statement, the way the look or act. Seems insane, but that's what I seem to be doing.
I'm so negative, all I really want is just to be happy. Seems like it's a lot harder than it should be.